Every time I have imagined a man that is exactly the man that I got. Before I started dating Derek, this is the list of characteristics I made one night in my journal.
It started, “Dear Universe, bring me a man who…
• loves and understands me inside and out
• truly sees me
• is an artist/musician
• loves to dance and is a great dancer
• counts himself psychic/intuitive and understands both his own and my hunches
• inspires me
• is handsome with a beautiful body
• is at ease with himself
• understands his own strengths
• is successful at life
• loves life and knows how to enjoy it
• is spiritual but not dogmatic
• practiced but not obsessed
• loves me completely and utterly with all of his being
• is honest, faithful, and full of integrity
• is financially secure
• communicates well and easily
• is a fantastic friend and lover to me
• appreciates who I am in the world
• is kind, generous, and fun to be around
• makes me laugh
• is spontaneous, romantic, imaginative, and creative
I believe that imagining him actually brought him to me.
Now you may think that this chapter is a little misplaced when I’ve been telling you that in order to move forward you need to take the time to heal, but believe me, imagining will help you in the process.
I’ve found imagining to be particularly helpful when I’m stuck in that stage of grieving where I just can’t stop thinking about my ex. You know those obsessive thoughts that haunt you and won’t go away? You don’t know why you are thinking about him or her, but for some reason you just can’t get her out of your mind. In my experience these thoughts linger when the end was particularly ambiguous, or even when the beginning was particularly magical—or both.
This is an excerpt from From Heartbreak to Wholeness: 12 Steps to Healing from Break-up. Stay tuned for more excerpts as Aimée walks you through the steps. Go to www.spreadingblessings.com to get your free ebook copy.
Tags: divorce, healing, heartbreak, imagination, life, love, personal, relationships
