After you’ve been feeling deeply, (and daily during times of great transition) you will want to reward yourself with nurturing. Nurturing is an essential part of the healing process. Learning how to take care your own self can be incredibly empowering.
If you are ending a relationship there is a good chance that you have been accustomed to getting at least some of your nurturing from outside. Especially if your significant other was never really able to provide that for you, you have probably experienced some tension in this department. Not getting your needs met is a very wearing experience. Here is the good news. Now is your chance to explore your own power to nurture yourself. Believe me, it is a skill that will benefit you for a lifetime.
Oddly enough, self-nurturing is a skill we learn in our infancy. Paradoxically, it is something that we only learn by receiving. When a baby frequently and consistently gets its needs met through its parents or other caregivers, she learns how to give it to herself. If you’ve ever seen a baby coo its way to sleep, you know what I’m talking about. By being coddled and soothed by her parents, she learns what makes her feel good and is able to provide it for herself.
Don’t worry; even if you didn’t have a particularly comforting childhood, this is a skill you can learn as an adult. In fact, the wonderful thing is that you are now the adult. Remember that little girl you got in touch with during the last chapter? Well, she needed help. The beauty of it is that now, even when you revisit that little girl, you’ve got your adult-self to help and you can give that her whatever it is that she needs, at anytime. Loving, understanding, ice cream, a special day—it’s now in your power to soothe that little person inside of you. In fact, being in touch with and balanced with these aspects of self are essential facets of wholeness.
Nurturing yourself is as simple as knowing what you like. It is a matter or doing for yourself the things that feel good to you. It can be as simple as playing your favorite song, or watching your favorite movie; or as elaborate as going to a ball game, or taking a week-long retreat. Let your Spirit, your current circumstances, and whatever inspires you be your guide.
This is an excerpt from From Heartbreak to Wholeness: 12 Steps to Healing from Break-up. Stay tuned for more excerpts as Aimée walks you through the steps. Go to www.spreadingblessings.com to get your free ebook copy.
Tags: break-up, divorce, heartbreak, life, love, personal, relationship
