Finding Peace

I was a complete mess.  I had just found out that my ex was seeing someone else– and he was still living with me.  I wanted to stab him through the heart in the same way that I felt slain.  I wanted him to hurt in the same way that his oblivious actions had caused me to hurt.  I wanted him to pay AND I wanted him out of my house, NOW!

But there was a bigger part of me that just wanted peace.  Truth be told he was a friend of mine.  And even if his slow pace of leaving had caused me pain, it was only inevitable pain.  It had forced me into what I had now actually been looking forward to for a couple of months, the final processing of our relationship.

Because the truth was that no matter how well we got along, and how long it had been that we hadn’t been sleeping together, I couldn’t really do the final grieving that not having him around would entail, until he actually left.  The fact that he hadn’t left yet was I suppose just as much my fault as his.  I hadn’t actually kicked him out.  I had wanted to continue the spirit of generosity that had characterized our relationship– only now it had gone too far.  I needed space.  I needed to move on.  

I spent a whole sleepless night imagining him writhing in the pain that I now felt.  I spent the whole next day raw and frazzled.  The funny thing was, that despite my heartache, during the waking hours, the thought that gave me the most peace was, forgiveness.

Just the word “forgive” filled me with a delicious sensation of ease that my frazzled nerves could not concoct on their own.  In fact during that excrutiating 48 hour period of his revelation and then departure, the idea of forgiveness was the only thought that brought me any peace. 

“I forgive Derek,” I said to myself.  The sensation of just saying the words was such a relief I felt I wanted to forgive everybody.  In my head I began running through the names of people who had hurt me in the past.  And I ran with it, “I forgive Lily.”  “I forgive John.”  On and on I went, repeating the names of my own personal offenders– desperate to revert to the clarity and peace I had felt just 48 hours before. 

 And you know what it worked.

During that exquisitely painful 48 hours before my ex finally moved out, the idea and internal pronounciation of forgiveness was truly the only thing that gave me peace. 

I forgive.  I forgive.  I forgive, is sometimes the only remedy for pain.

Aimée is the founder and director of Spreading Blessings Media, a company dedicated to providing tools for inspired living.  To activate your own healing today and sign-up for her FALL Telecourse From Heartbreak to Wholeness visit http://www.spreadingblessings.com/CLASSES_PACKAGES.html

Bike it out!

I was totally obsessing about an old boyfriend.  He haunts me actually from time to time.  And since we first got together on Halloween all of those years ago, haunt seems a perfectly appropriate word.

Of course this has nothing to do with him.  He’s honestly not even in the picture.  But I was in the raw stage of break-up where the flood gates of emotion had been opened.  I was processing the ending of another relationship with a veritable fountain of emotions running through my body. 

And there he was again appearing in my mind.  I rationalized it was because I’ve never loved another (to date) with the depth that I felt for him.  I considered calling him, wrote poetry with emotion, and I fantasized about his soothing arms around me.  

Then, I got on my bike.

I was tired of spinning in circles.  I’d been through this process before.  My only certainty was that I was not thinking clearly.  Anywhere outside of my delicious fantasies I knew that even connecting with him would not turn out like that beautiful idea in my mind.  

Five minutes into the ride, I offered the idea up to Spirit.  “Listen,” I said to my guides, “you know what’s going on in my mind.  And you know what is truly beneficial for both of us.  I trust that if it is in the highest good that he and I recconnect, you will find a way to make it happen.”

Then I let it go.  Twenty minutes and a whole lot of sweat later, I was feeling totally free.  My head clear, my body singing, I remembered what I tell my clients, “Identify what he symbolizes to you, that, not a relationship with him specifically, is what your spirit is calling you to cultivate.” 

Okay.  That I could understand.  I was longing for a soulful romance in my life.  It was an aspect that had been missing in the last relationship I had, and one that I now felt ready to embody. 

I remembered that every emotion I had ever had with said haunter was something I felt internally– and something I could certainly experience again with another.   Only this time I was looking for someone who could keep the door of soul open.  Not open it and then swing it shut unexpectedly, but someone who, like me, was willing to continually explore and discover this territory again and again, together.

All of this clarity, from a little sweat and movement.  And totally free!

So you’re breaking up…

So you’re breaking up; as a friend said to me during my last break-up process, “That’s always hard, even if it is the right thing.” 

I feel she summed it up precisely.  The ending of a relationship is a process, just like any loss.  It requires grief, strength, clearing, and caring.  In order to move on more wholly, reaching out in life to embrace the next and better relationship the universe has in store for you—it’s best to take the time you need to heal. 

Since my 18th birthday I have been in 10 relationships that have ended.  They all finished for different reasons—we were going different places, we lived on different continents, betrayal (my own and my partner’s), and an inability to commit, just to name a few.  Through each partnering and each ending I learned important information about myself, and how we move on. 

When the process of my last break-up went so smoothly and lovingly, I realized that I had mastered something that others would want to know.  It was then that I sat down and wrote the outline for my ebook: From Heartbreak to Wholeness: 12 Steps to Healing from Break-up. 

 

This is an excerpt from From Heartbreak to Wholeness: 12 Steps to Healing from Break-up.  Stay tuned for more excerpts as Aimée walks you through the steps one by one.  Go to www.spreadingblessings.com to get her free ebook.

Free Ebook: From Heartbreak to Wholeness

HAVE WE GOT SOME EXCITING NEWS!

Our new ebook is now available for FREE, on our website!

From Heartbreak to Wholeness: 12 Steps to Healing from Break-up

Sit back with a friend as Aimée leads you down the path to healing the wounds of heartbreak- with ease.  Whether you are just ending a relationship, feel like you never really got over one from your past, fear that you will never find love again, or are just looking for some inspiration to bring you back into balance- this is the book for you.

One reader said,

“This is an amazing book and I am sure you will help many people by sharing your stories and wisdom.  And it’s true, even though I am not going through a break-up, there were numerous things that struck home with me.”

The book’s personal stories and practical advice relate what Aimée has learned through years of healing and intuitive work, as well as the hard won lessons of her own break-ups.

You will discover that you are not alone– 

and that YOU have the capacity to heal yourself.

Take the journey back to wholeness with Aimée, where the ultimate goal is love!

Check out our website: www.spreadingblessings.com 

or email us for your copy today!

New blessings posted everyday at www.spreadingblessings.com

Hello world!

Welcome to WordPress.com. This is your first post. Edit or delete it and start blogging!