Get space from you Ex, it’s essential to your healing.

Posted on May 29, 2012


When you break-up, you need to sort of reinvent your life without your Ex playing a central role.  It can be a bit of a shock especially if that person has played a very key role in the past.  Sometimes one of the hardest things about moving on is simply understanding that your life will go on without that person.  It may be hard to believe, especially at first, but I’m here to tell you, your life WILL go on without your Ex.  And chances are it will also get better.  I say that because I believe in the old saying, “When the Universe closes one door it opens another.”  That is what is happening to you right now.  If this relationship didn’t work out, there is a better one in store for you.  But right now you’ve got to get over the heartache.

In order to get to that place where you are singing along and feeling good without that other person you have to do one very important thing: Get space.  You can’t be running into your ex all the time, or scheduling time together.  It doesn’t mean that out in the future you can’t be friends or hang out—but right now, you’ve got to be without them.

To get over the hump of heartache you need to have a significant time away from your Ex.  I recommend six months.  You need this time to re-calibrate, to learn not only that you can live without that other person, but also that you can thrive on your own.  If you are seeing them all of the time they remain on your mind and in your energetic framework and you’ll have a harder time understanding your life in context of their absence.

Obviously there are certain circumstances when this is impossible—for example if you have children together.  Clearly, you are going to need to see the other person in this case.  But keep your contact to a minimum—for a time address only the business that needs addressing— and then move forward.  Even if you wish to come together in a happy healthy way for the sake of your children in the future, for the moment you will need more space than you might have thought.

Healing heartache, like many kinds of healing takes time.  Time to reset and understand yourself in the context of this change, time to understand that you are complete and whole even with the absence of this person in your life.  Take the time now to get the space you need while the break-up is fresh—or while you are still grieving— it will speed up your recovery process in the long run.

Aimée Cartier is a psychic and the author of From Heartbreak to Wholeness: 12 Steps to Healing from Break-Up.  More about her can be found at

Posted in: Step 1: Accept